FIRST Wild Card Tour: So Not Happening

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Jenny B. Jones

and the book:

So Not Happening (The Charmed Life)

Thomas Nelson (May 5, 2009)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jenny B. Jones writes adult and YA Christian Fiction with equal parts wit, sass, and untamed hilarity. When she's not writing, she's living it up as a high school speech teacher in Arkansas.


Visit the author's website.



Product Details:

List Price: $12.99
Reading level: Young Adult
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Thomas Nelson (May 5, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1595545417
ISBN-13: 978-1595545411

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

One year ago my mom got traded in for a newer model.

And that’s when my life fell apart.

“Do you, Jillian Leigh Kirkwood . . .”

Standing by my mother’s side as she marries the man who is so not my dad, I suppress a sigh and try to wiggle my toes in these hideous shoes. The hideous shoes that match my hideous maid-of honor dress. I like to look at things on the bright side, but the only

positive thing about this frock is that I’ll never have to wear it again.

“. . . take Jacob Ralph Finley . . .”

Ralph? My new stepdad’s middle name is Ralph? Okay, do we need one more red flag here? My mom is marrying this guy, and I didn’t even know his middle name. Did she? I check her face for signs of revulsion, signs of doubt. Signs of “Hey, what am I thinking? I don’t want Jacob Ralph Finley to be my daughter’s new stepdad.”

I see none of these things twinkling in my mom’s crystal blue eyes. Only joy. Disgusting, unstoppable joy.

“Does anyone have an objection?” The pastor smiles and scans the small crowd in the Tulsa Fellowship Church. “Let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”

Oh my gosh. I totally object! I look to my right and lock eyes with Logan, the older of my two soon-to-be stepbrothers. In the six hours that I have been in Oklahoma preparing for this “blessed” event, Logan and I have not said five words to one another. Like we’ve mutually agreed to be enemies.

I stare him down.

His eyes laser into mine.

Do we dare?

He gives a slight nod, and my heart triples in beat.

“Then by the powers vested in me before God and the family and friends of—”

“No!”

The church gasps.

I throw my hands over my mouth, wishing the floor would swallow me.

I, Bella Kirkwood, just stopped my own mother’s wedding.

And I have no idea where to go from here. It’s not like I do this every day, okay? Can’t say I’ve stopped a lot of weddings in my sixteen years.

My mom swivels around, her big white dress making crunchy noises. She takes a step closer to me, still flashing her pearly veneers at the small crowd.

“What,” she hisses near my ear, “are you doing?”

I glance at Logan, whose red locks hang like a shade over his eyes. He nods again.

“Um . . . um . . . Mom, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you at all this week . . .” My voice is a tiny whisper. Sweat beads on my forehead.

“Honey, now is not exactly the best time to share our feelings and catch up.”

My eyes dart across the sanctuary, where one hundred and fifty people are perched on the edge of their seats. And it’s not because they’re anxious for the chicken platters coming their way after the ceremony.

“Mom, the dude’s middle name is Ralph.”

She leans in, and we’re nose to nose. “You just stopped my wedding and that’s what you wanted to tell me?”

Faint—that’s what I’ll do next time I need to halt a wedding.

“How well do you know Jake? You only met six months ago.”

Some of the heat leaves her expression. “I’ve known him long enough to know that I love him, Bella. I knew it immediately.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” I rush on, “I mean, I’ve only been around him a few times, and I’m not so sure. He could be a serial killer for all we know.” I can count on one hand the times I’ve been around Jake. My mom usually visited him when I was at my dad’s.

Her voice is low and hurried. “I understand this isn’t easy for you. But our lives have changed. It’s going to be an adventure, Bel.”

Adventure? You call meeting a man on the Internet and forcing me to move across the country to live with his family an adventure? An adventure is swimming with dolphins in the Caribbean. An adventure is touring the pyramids in Egypt. Or shopping at the Saks after-Thanksgiving sale with Dad’s credit card. This, I do believe, qualifies as a nightmare!

“You know I’ve prayed about this. Jake and I both have. We know this is God’s will for us. I need you to trust me, because I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

A single tear glides down Mom’s cheek, and I feel my heart constrict. This time last year my life was so normal. So happy. Can I just hit the reverse button and go back?

Slowly I nod. “Okay, Mom.” It’s kind of hard to argue with “God says this is right.” (Though I happen to think He’s wrong.)

The preacher clears his throat and lifts a bushy black brow.

“You can continue,” I say, knowing I’ve lost the battle. “She had something in her teeth.” Yes, that’s the best I've got.

I. Am. An. Idiot.

“And now, by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Finley. You may kiss your bride.”

Nope. Can’t watch.

I turn my head as the “Wedding March” starts. Logan walks to my side, and I link my arm in his. Though we’re both going to be juniors, he’s a head taller than me. It’s like we’re steptwins. He grabs his six-year-old brother, Robbie, with his other hand, and off we go

in time to the music. Robbie throws rose petals all around us, giggling with glee, oblivious to the fact that we just witnessed a ceremony marking the end of life as we know it.

“Good job stopping the wedding.” Logan smirks. “Very successful.”

I jab my elbow into his side. “At least I tried! You did nothing!”

“I just wanted to see if you had it in you. And you don’t.”

I snarl in his direction as the camera flashes, capturing this day for all eternity.

Last week I was living in Manhattan in a two-story apartment between Sarah Jessica Parker and Katie Couric. I could hop a train to Macy’s and Bloomie’s. My friends and I could eat dinner at Tao and see who could count the most celebs. I had Broadway in my backyard

and Daddy’s MasterCard in my wallet.

Then my mom got married.

And I got a new life.

I should’ve paid that six-year-old to pull the fire alarm.

Review: Faith Leaps

I'll admit it, I'm not so big on leaps of faith. Even though I am the daughter of a United Methodist minister and my life has always been influenced by the Lord's leading, I will gladly tell you that I like routine and knowing what is coming next. As we all know, life doesn't always follow the plan that we think it is going.

I have been known to run a bit from what I know God is telling me. I've gone against what I knew He would not want me to do. And every time, I come back to His way, because it is the Only Way that I am going to be fulfilled, blessed, and at peace.

For instance, I really felt like God was telling me to step away from volunteering with our church youth group and spend more time with my family. I argued with Him for months. I tried to convince him of the reason why I was right and He was wrong. Guess what?! Turns out He WAS right, and even though it was hard, I know it was the right thing to do. He has opened up possibilities and opportunities that I never would have had--opportunities to share His Word with people that I never would have imagined. But that Leap of Faith was very hard to take. It was hard to explain to others.

God is still giving me nudges. I'm not ignoring Him, but I've been trying to put Him off. But this time, it isn't quite so scary, because there is a wonderful program created by my friend Alyssa Avant to help me through.

Faith Leaps is a three month training program designed to help you figure out what and where God might be able to best use your Spiritual Gifts and talents.

Alyssa encourages you with her spunky spirit to examine yourself through prayer, online activities, questions, and audio seminar. She will lead you through the scary wilderness
upon which you might feel as though you stumbled.

God will lead you, and will never leave you. Alyssa uses her experiences and God's word to walk beside you as you work toward the clearing in which God has designed you to serve.



I am definitely called to teach. I'm feeling God call me in a new direction, but I'm not quite sure where He's leading me. I look forward to finding out, and am so thankful that He has equipped Alyssa with Faith Leaps to guide me!

Are you feeling God's call, but don't know exactly where He is leading? Or are you fighting that negative self-talk of "I don't have any gifts or talents! How is God going to use me?" Either way, Faith Leaps can help you discern the ways in which God is equipping you to serve.

Here I am, Lord! Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I am inspired by the words of Dan Schutte, and I will follow. Faith Leaps will help me find The Way!

Photo credits: Tricky, anjan58, and Steve_C

Review: Yanni Voices CD

I had the opportunity to review the beautiful music of Yanni Voices thanks to One2One Network!

I first learned of Yanni Voices in a very Disney-esque production at Blissdom ’09, when we were introduced to the concept on both the huge screen and several plasma screen TVs. To say that we women were blown away was an understatement! We all loved the music and visuals, especially getting to see them in such a crisp, high definition manner. Add to it that the music shared was magnificent, and we were sold….but then, we got even MORE….Nathan and Ender were THERE in person! We got to learn more about them and the production, and if we weren’t already in love, both men credited their mothers with giving them much of the will and gifts with which they were able to share with us. Imagine my delight when a fellow attendee asked the men to sing Happy Birthday to another attendee who was celebrating that day…as was I! So they brought us both up and sang to BOTH of us! Ahhh, bliss! My husband showed no jealousy about this circumstance until he actually SAW Nathan and Ender on the bonus DVD!

Um, no honey, that isn't a look of adoration on my face....must have been the flash!

Anyway, back to the review!

The music is sublime on this CD! The four vocalists have unspeakable talent! Chloe’s soulful depth comes out best on “Kill Me with Your Love”, where her range is fully explored, and she gives life to the notes she sings. Ender’s passion especially shines through on “Desire”. Their duet on “Until the Last Moment” captured my heart. I am a sucker for beautiful harmony! I also like the harmonies explored on “Before the Night Ends”, where Leslie has almost an Enya-like sound, if I can compare her to another. The sensuality with which Leslie sings “The Keeper”, however, is entirely something different! Nathan’s rich baritone fills out “Adagio” much like a cello, and sounds so triumphant at the end of the piece! I also enjoyed “November Sky” and its upbeat style!

I really enjoy getting to see how much the artists put into the music on the DVD. It is a wonderful audio experience to listen to the CD, but with the DVD, you also get to see what fun and excitement the artists have for their music, which brings so much more to the experience!

I’d love to be able to see this on tour, but I doubt they’ll be coming close to me! But truly, if you have the opportunity, you need to GO! If not, do the next best thing and buy this awesome CD!

Go here to learn more about the tour, PBS specials, performers, CD, and more!

Review: Rascals and Routines Bedtime Safari

Rascals and Routines is a product line produced by Haydenburri Lane in a commitment to help preschoolers learn daily self-care routines in a fun manner.

The innovative way that this company promotes such activities as brushing teeth and going to bed certainly IS fun! My 5 year old was delighted with every portion of the set that I received to review. We received the “Carry Me Everywhere Suitcase” complete with 5 finger puppets, book, blanket with puppet pocket, and Bedtime Safari boardbook. Not only does this encourage healthy habits, but it also has provided endless hours of entertainment!

The 5 finger puppets are of Rascals and Routines 5 Ambassadors: Rory, the sleepy time tiger; Paige, the story time elephant; Chomper, the tooth-brushing crocodile; P.J., the pajama time bear; and Bubbles, the bath time hippo. Each ambassador encourages one part of the bedtime routine. The Bedtime Safari book expands upon the characters and why your preschooler needs that part of the routine.

I especially like the finger puppets and the blanket with the puppet pocket. Adam enjoys tucking each puppet into the pocket and telling them good night before snuggling up with the super-soft blanket. An additional ‘Cool’ feature is found in the suitcase: built in elastic holders for each finger puppet! We have also been able to put the suitcase to use for carrying toys and such to activities where Adam needs to entertain himself.

Haydenburri Lane is currently offering several special deals! You can purchase the same item reviewed here, the “Carry Me Everywhere Suitcase”, for $29.95! Also available is the Bedtime Safari music collection for $3.95, which includes 5 songs! And how about a freebie?! If you sign up for the newsletter, you will receive a free music download! The website also features a section especially for parents, including a parent guide for the products.

I highly recommend Haydenburri Lane’s products for encouraging your young child to develop healthy bedtime routines!

WINNER: All About Us books!

Sorry I'm late getting this up! I have been so overwhelmed lately that this just slipped my mind!


So Dina is our winner! Thanks so much for playing along! Dina, be looking for an email from me!

Be looking for more giveaways coming SOON!

Review and Giveaway: All About Us books

***This post will stay on top until the contest ends! Please scroll down for more recent posts! Thank you!***







I’m so excited about an opportunity to share these GREAT books! The series is set in San Francisco at the fictional elite prep school Spencer Academy. Follow the stories of five friends who deal with the ups and downs of their teen years while also learning more about their Faith in God.

Have you been looking for something for your teenage daughter, granddaughter, or friend to read? Are you concerned about how she will respond to peer pressure concerning such issues as premarital sex, sharing her Christian faith, underage drinking, among others? Then this is the series for you!! Lissa, Gillian, Carly, Shani, and Mac deal with these everyday struggles in a tastefully done, entertaining manner. The books are up-to-date and filled with references to technological and fashion trends to which your daughter can relate.

Not only that, there is an interactive website that goes with the series! She’ll love getting to interact with the ‘girls’ on All About Us online!

I have read the first three books in the series and felt like I bonded with Lissa, Gillan, and Carly. I’m anticipating the release of Shani and Mac’s stories already! I wish that such a series had been available when I was a teenager struggling with self-image and value judgments. That these books do so with a solid Christian influence adds much value to them, in my eyes. I know that your child or grandchild will be enthralled with the books and will be glad to read stories of girls who struggle with similar problems.

Here is the fun part: YOU can win the three books in the series released so far! You’ll win It's All About Us, The Fruit of my Lipstick, and Be Strong and Curvaceous, valued at approximately $30.00! I’d like to thank Hatchette Books for their willingness to sponsor this giveaway—without them, I couldn’t share this fantastic deal!

So how do you win? Simply leave a comment on this post! I’ll need to limit this giveaway to readers in the United States and Canada, and no P.O Boxes. Please also be sure to leave me a way to contact you—I can’t send you the books without this!

I’ll close this to entries on Wednesday, February 11 at 9 pm. Good luck, and I pray that God blesses you richly through these books!

(If you’d like to read my original review of Be Strong and Curvaceous on my other blog, click here!)

The Jesus Storybook Bible

I was very excited to be able to review this book with my sons. It has become a welcome addition to our devotions!

The beautifully written stories begin with adaptations of stories from the Old Testament. The words are accurate, and explain in interesting yet kid-friendly terms the stories of the patriarchs of the Bible. Many nights, the stories that I read aloud have led to detailed discussions on related Bible stories or questions like, “Mom, what is Heaven like?”

I really like that the language is fully explanatory without making it so simple that the lyric flavor of the story is lost. The beautiful and detailed illustrations bring the story to life for my 5 and 7-year-old boys. In fact, both boys have picked the book up and explored it on their own—which is not always done since they are otherwise distracted with their electronic toys!

I have to share a story of what we were reading last night! We were reading the story of the tower of Babel. They were so cracked up by the part of the story on page 53 that I had to repeat it 3 or 4 additional times just so they could laugh at it again! Here is what they found so amusing:

“You see, God had given each person a completely different language! Suddenly, no one understood what anyone else was saying. Someone would say, “How do you do?” and the other person thought they said, “How ugly are you!” It wasn’t funny. You could be saying something nice like, “Such a lovely morning!” and get a punch in the nose because they thought you said, “Hush up, you’re boring!” (You couldn’t even say, “Pardon?” to check if you’d heard right because no one understood that word either.)

More simply put, The Jesus Storybook Bible is not only giving me the opportunity to share the stories of the Bible with my children, it is helping us make memories while we do so. It is helping them feel more comfortable asking me questions they might have on their mind, and showing them ALL the roles and prophesies that were revealed through Jesus at the same time. This book is a great tool all the way around!

If you’d like some more information about the book, here it is on the Zondervan website. I highly recommend it for parents with children from preschool age to 9 years of age (but you know your child best; take a look at it and decide for yourself!)